


Come Home

by Lapseintime



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 19:07:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1910331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lapseintime/pseuds/Lapseintime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em> There's someone I've been missing, I think that they could be the better half of me. </em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Home

* * *

 

There’s a time of the year that everything gets hard for Roy. He always had faith in Edward, no matter what they said he knew that Ed is not dead or lost...he will come back; Roy truly believes it. But in this time of year, it’s get hard. It’s the month that he’d seen Edward for the last time...In a couple of days it will be the anniversary of his disappearance and this time will be just as hard as the last year was, Roy could tell that much.

_Its been two years now Ed. I wish I could see you again even if it was for you to shout at me, or call me a bastard. It’s so hard you know that? I wonder i_ _f you miss me the way I miss you...And in the same way I wish you did, I wish you didn't either, cause is too painful. Maybe I’m a little bit selfish for_ _think like this but you know me..._

_I’ve always been a selfish bastard, right?_

‘Sir?’

Hawkeye stood by the door of his office with an amount of papers in hand, for the worry look on her face, she must been trying to talk to him for a while now but he couldn’t tell for sure.

‘I’m sorry Lt., you are saying something?’

‘Yes Sir. I was asking you if you’re done with the morning paperwork, in case of yes I had another amount that need your signature.’

‘I’m not, but you can drop the other ones here’ Roy motioned for her to drop the paper in the corner of his desk, never so much looking at her not because he didn’t want to; but because he knew she’ll see his hunted eyes. He need a moment to slip his mask back.

‘You are sure about this sir?’ She asked, and Roy could tell for the disbelief in her tone, that she doubt he’d even finish the first round.

‘Yes Lieutenant...I’m going to work late today.’ He look at her this time, and although her face was expressionless, the unnecessary force that she was putting on the papers could tell what is on her mind. Thankfully she’d never said a word about it when she place the papers and move to leave the office.

‘Don’t work too hard Sir. I need you here tomorrow morning as well with no delays.’

He must be failing miserably in keep his emotions at check, because the words “don’t work too hard” and Riza Hawkeye doesn’t seem to belong in the same place. Roy nod at her one time before turn his head back to the papers in his desk and resume his work. He’ll have plenty of time to do

his paperwork because he didn’t intend to get home till ten. He heard the soft click of his door, and hunched his shoulders forward and bent his head down.

_God Edward. You should stay out of my mind for at least five minutes, you know? It will help with my work. I swear to you I’m trying to do the right_

_things, things that you’d be proud of, I just wish that you were here to see it... I’ve also tried to move on with my life, but things just doesn’t feel the_

_same if its not you. I keep seeing you sitting in the couch of my office every time I look at it, and it’s almost funny the way that sometimes when I look_

_you’d seem to be right there scowling at me, or tapping your foot insistently on the floor when you get inpatient with my lessons...Sometimes I smile_ _remembering the way your golden-honey eyes lit up when I give you some lead of the philosopher stone...I even smile more often than I did before, you_ _know that? Sometimes thinking of you, and sometimes listening to the stories of my staff and dearest friends...You use to say you like when I smile, so I_ _do it more often; but you were not here to see it._

He ran a hand absently trough his hair and took the pen back. He will keep wishing everything, but he never got anything from it. He may as well resume his work to get back to his empty home just in time to sleep.

* * *

 

‘Hello’

_‘Hello General, this is Alphonse!’_

‘Oh hello Alphonse, everything alright?’

_‘Yes, and you?’_

‘Everything's fine!’

_‘I see...I'm calling to see if you want to go to lunch tomorrow?’_

‘Of course I would like Al. I see you in the office then?’

_‘Yes General. I see you tomorrow, bye!’_

‘Good bye!’

Roy put the phone in the receiver and smile to himself. Alphonse always call for lunch, he knows how Roy felt although he’d never said anything and Al never asked. They’ve will sat and talk about how is everything with Winry, and Al will tell about their life together, and he will begun to tell tales of his brother childhood, their missions together. He always have something new to tell about, and even if don’t Roy didn’t mind to hear the same histories anyway. He will be just happy to see Alphonse happy and cheerful like he always was; he knew that Al misses his brother as much as him, but he have Winry to stand by his side. Roy was alone.

He went to his bed and the coldness of the sheets made him wince, but he needed the sleep anyway. The night was particularly cold, more than the others days, but is not unexpected...every year since Ed was gone; the month of his disappearance is the most cold month of the year.

Roy didn’t know if it’s only him that feel it or the weather is indeed colder, and in that particular day, always rain. The first year, Roy was going home earlier when started to rain, he almost choke in his own breath remembering the first time they kissed, and he thanks for however God that was listening that the rain lasted until he gets inside of his house, so no one will ever know he was silent crying the entire way home.

_Ed, love...I miss you...come home! Come back home please._

He closed his eyes, and slowly the tiredness take over his mind and the sleep came.

* * *

 

_They were running at more isolated district of central city, at some point the two split-up to search for the Chimera they were chasing. Roy went right into the forest and Edward was left. Over an hour had already passed and he couldn’t find neither chimera nor Ed. Roy was starting to worry when a clapping sound came to his ears, he looked to his right and he saw the blue lights of Edward’s alchemy dissipating into the air . Ed was in front of the chimera, with his automail transformed into a blade and slowly progressed in the animal. His gaze was so intense and confident that Roy didn’t even think in interfere, he found himself watching in awe the way in which Edward ran and attacked and diverted; he had not shed a drop of sweat yet and so he could see that the animal was already tired enough so it was only a matter of time for the Chimera goes down._

_‘Will you help me, or will only be watching?' The smile never leaving Edward’s his lips while he jumped and landed with grace on the ground, already pushing the next attack._

_Roy smirked, ‘And mess up the show?'_

_‘I should have known you'd be a lazy ass anyway!'_

_And with that he gave his last foray on the Chimera and it body fell to the ground in front of him. Roy take a step closer and he could see the smile leaving Ed’s features and a sad look took over his eyes._

_‘Are you ok?’_

_‘Yeah...It’s just...’_

_‘You didn’t have another choice Ed.’_

_Ed looked at Roy, who was incredible closer to him and gave him a sad smile before saying ‘I...know, but I fucking hate this!’_

_The first drop of water fell on Ed’s forehead but he didn’t even blink...Roy feel another one drip in his hair but he didn’t care; they were incredible closer to each other and the sad look Ed was wearing was gone in a split second when he became aware of the closeness of the two of them. Just like that Roy was leaning forward and Ed wasn’t moving, wasn’t doing anything to stop him._

_More drops were falling from the sky and both of them were getting wet but who cares? Ed’s lips were touching his soft and warm and in a second Roy’s hands were sliding in Ed’s back; he parted his lips, inviting Roy in and he wasted no time. They were kissing, in the middle of a forest, in the rain, and Roy didn’t even care they were soaked to the bone right now because Ed wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him more closer... all coherency that he have in his mind flew away with the wind when Edward arched his back against him and they were clinging to each other like there's no tomorrow._

_‘You’re going to catch a cold you idiot.’ Ed said a little breathless and Roy smiled. A warm and sincere smile that Ed never saw before and he smiled back._

_‘You too!’_

_‘Maybe... But I’m not useless drenched.’ Ed smirked and pulled him again for another kiss._

Six months after that Ed had left.

Roy woke up startled and immediately reach out a hand across his bed but as expected there’s no blond hair sprawled against the pillow, no automail leg wrapped against his and no warm body for him to hold. He felt a pang in his chest and clenched his hand in to fist so hard that he could feel his nails digging in to his flesh. He knew he was being weak and silly but the angst he was feeling was too strong to ignore. He’d never felt so alone and vulnerable in all his life and he was trying with all his will power to blink back the tears trying to escape his eyes now.

With a shuddering breath he close his eyes again trying to go back to sleep again, he have to wake in less than three hours and stare to the ceiling will not help.

_Oh my God Edward...please...please...I need you so much._

Half an hour later he manage to sleep again...but without dream this time.

* * *

 

The lunch with Al was pleasant as always, he even lost track of time hearing the young Elric rumble about how weird Ed was after the chimera mission, and when Roy asks why Al grins and said he’d never seen his brother so calm and happy that Roy didn’t know if he said that only to make him happy but it works anyway. He was walking as fast as he could towards the headquarters when something in the corner of his vision made him stop dead in his tracks.

He turn his head so fast that he almost break his neck, he blink, and blink again. He could swear that he saw a silhouette of a young man with long

golden hair tied up in a pony tail...Just like...

_Now, I must be losing my mind!_

He pressed the heels of his hands in his eyes and swallowed hard trying to breathe again. He was shaking so hard, his hands were sweating cold he’d feels like he can’t even move when a gentle hand tap his shoulders, he almost jump on his own skin.

‘Chief, are you ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!’ Havoc was shaking him gentle with a worried look on his face, and Roy snapped back to reality.

_You have no idea Jean!_

‘I’m...’ He cleared his dry throat in order to hide the weakness of his voice before he continues ‘...it’s ok Jean. I’m ok.’

‘Ok Chief. If...you say so.’ Although Havoc could see that his boss was not ok, he didn’t push it...He have an idea of what is it about; so he just

walked behind Roy in silence till headquarters where Roy went straight to his office without a word and shut the door behind him. Jean looked at Riza and she lift a questioning brow for him.

‘I think we need to talk Riza!’

* * *

 

Two days had passed since lunch with Al. Roy keep playing the scene in his mind again and again, trying to remember something but he couldn’t.

He was trying so hard not to break but it’s not working...especially today.

_The day you’ve left me Ed. Two years ago... two—_

His agony was cut off by the click of his door. Hawkeye was standing by the door as always but, with a painful look on her face and on single paper on his hand. Roy was miserable already...He didn’t need that to make things worse, but he had no escape. With a defeated sigh he pitched the bride of his nose and leaned back on his chair.

‘Sir...’ She trailed off unsure of what to say to make things better, or at least try not to make things worse, but the military know no mercy, it had to be done. ‘This came today and I think you should read.’

‘I know what it is Lieutenant. Can we delay this?’

‘We’ve been delaying this for two years Sir. I think its time to move on!’ She said firmly, even if breaks her heart to see the painful look that Roy was giving her. She knew about the two of them... when everything happened Roy told her everything and all she could do was support him, after all she was his friend; and so she tried to stand by his side...But she can’t cope with it anymore Roy was not being himself and everyone in the office was starting to get worried about him, even Havoc asked to talk to her about the way he found him in the street after the lunch with Al.

‘Riza...’ He said softly but she cut him off;

‘Sir I know it’s hard for you, but you’re not the one who miss him. We all did!’

‘I know, and you are right. But it’s not that simple.’

‘Roy, at least give the first step. You don’t need to forget him, you need to _live_!’

‘I think you’ve made your point Lieutenant. But if you excuse me I’m going to take a walk...I need to think.’

‘Yes sir. Try to get back before the rain please, or I’ll send Havoc after you.’

Roy nodded at her and they walk out the room. She took the paper back to her desk and look while he walks out of the main office.

* * *

 

Everything was pretty much the same outside Central. Roy crossed the gates of the park near the headquarters and walked without paying much attention to his surroundings feeling the cold wind caress his skin while he walked towards a bench.

_Its cold today...And its going to rain again Ed, just like last year and I wonder if where you was its raining, or if it’s that cold too. They send me the_ _paper of your demise again...I’ve been delaying this the last two years because I want you to be the one who made that decision, not_ _me. Hell last time they send me that paper I set fire to it the instant my eyes read the first line;_

_I know if I sign that, will be the first step to let go of you, and I don’t want this...all I want it’s you back. Back to your life, your friends, your brother, your lover. Yes Ed, I’m sorry I’d never tell it before, but I love you so much that hurts even more when I think I may never be able to tell you this._

The first drop of water landed in his cheek and Roy close his eyes and smiled...Immediately his mind flew back to the day of their first kissed. The day that his life begun to make sense again...Funny how he swears he can heard Ed's voice.

_‘You’re going to catch a cold you idiot!’_

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this while listening the song 'Come Home' by One Republic.   
> This was my first attempt of angst... I don't think I did fairly well, but hey, I tried! *blushes*
> 
> Tell me if you like!  
> -Lit


End file.
